The Early Bird Catches....??

I am NOT a morning person.

I really want to be. Honest. I envy all of you who can literally jump out of bed and get your day going with your super chipper mood. I even understand the sensibility of getting up early and getting so much more accomplished. But, alas, that still doesn't make me an early bird.

I am far from an idle person. Growing up, it was a luxury to sleep until 8:30 or 9:00am. That has still stuck with me. (and the sound of Dad's power saws in full chorus, in the basement beneath my bedroom). It's not that I don't like mornings. Infact, it's quite the opposite. I enjoy the mornings I can wake up on my own and think about my upcoming day. I love listening to the sounds of a just waking home and savoring in the comfort of my blessings.

It's ironic that my job requires me to get up very early and sometimes even in the middle of the night. When I HAVE to get up, it is always the hardest. Perhaps because it robs me of my contemplation time. Attitude is everything I suppose.

Maybe if I'd wake up earlier, I could still have my contemplation time. Go figure.

It's Been One of Those Days

Today was one of those days.

There are great and less than great days at work. I usually gauge the success of my day by my performance more than the outcome of a case. Working in an operating room can involve having some extreme outcomes, but these patients wouldn't be in my OR if they were well. If I gauged my day this way - it would always be somewhat sad. However, if I felt that I performed my job well, communicated with my peers well, and the surgeons felt I was dependable - now these are the best kind of days at work!

Then there are days like today. Nothing really bad happened. I was assigned to an unfamiliar room with a surgeon I don't normally work with. I really like familiarity and being in my own comfort zone. Switching from that zone can be pretty stressful. These moments make me second guess and reevaluate myself and my performance. But honestly, it's these very moments that I tend to learn the most, as grueling as they can be. I have always loved learning, so why would this be any different? Why do I tag it as 'one of those day's'?

It's my attitude I think. Weightlifters can't succeed if they keep lifting the same amount of weight everyday. They have to keep adding more weight to see results that eventually define them. It's all about leaving that comfort zone, knowing you'll only grow from it.

Hmmmm.... I will have to work on that some more.

"Some of life's greatest battles will be fought in the silent chambers of your own soul." ~Ezra Taft Benson

Life is Nothing but a Roller Coaster Ride

I used to love roller coasters. The thrill of high speeds and near weightlessness, the unknown curves, drastic drops and even the surprise of an unseen cave of pitch blackness, all were major enticements for me to come back and ride it again and again. I LOVED roller coasters, especially the end, where you feel that you overcame the challenge and relief ensues.

Now not so much.

Roller coasters now make my head spin and give me the urge to report to some kind of 'thrill ride' authority the battering my body was just subjected to. What has taken the thrill out of the ride? Is it my age? Normally, I'd say probably so. But now, I'm not so sure. These machines are only getting faster, higher, and more 'creative'. We have roller coasters that race each other, go to warp speeds, or that we can ride in backwards, forwards, sideways, upside-down, sitting, standing, and even lying on your stomach (think Superman). Pretty soon we will be riding 'Tarzan-style' by our hands or something. The thrill alone is never enough.

My life has been the proverbial roller coaster ride. The ups are filled with excitement and pleasure with wonderful, breathtaking views. The downs are stomach wrenching and fear laden. Most of us close our eyes in the sight of such fear and anxiety. Probably not a good thing to do unless we want to add vomit inducing to the list. At times, just when I am reveling in the relief of surviving one coaster, the next new and improved, butt-kicking version comes out and here I am, rising to the top only to try and conquer the 'bottom' again. It's these rises that seem the most important to me, allowing me time to prepare and get in a few deep breaths. The better prepared I am, the better I'll be able to handle those breakneck curves just ahead.

What I am finding out is that there are many roller coasters of life that we aren't forced to ride. We can actually choose to get on and off as we please. Agency can be a pretty cool thing. But, by choosing to get off are we denying ourself anything? ALL of my life's rides, the great and the terrible included, have been major teaching moments for me. These moments are priceless because they prepare me for the next ride and sometime warn me of others. Infact, the strength I've earned from conquering one ride is always just enough needed to get on the next ride. Funny how that works.

So maybe these roller coasters really aren't so bad.