The Light in the Darkness

Recently, an approaching storm was on it's way. My girls and I had time to run outside and lie down in our driveway to gawk at all the awesome displays of lightning streaking across the sky. It was a great moment to reflect and ponder things greater than our, at times, 'less than humble' selves.

We captured a whole lot of dark images trying to get just one good shot of the impressive lightning.




This made me think, how many of us take the time to recognize the things in our lives that are the brightest? Do we allow them to be a priority? Sometimes we are so focused on the dark images, we forget to look up and see what's been there all along. As I reflect on my past, and more importantly, my present life, I have seen it has been plagued with quite a few dark images. These are usually the tough days. Struggling being a single parent, an especially long or frustrating day at work, seemingly never-ending financial pressures, are just some examples. What's worse, I can make an 'image' even darker depending on my attitude, idleness, and selfishness. Not good.



We were so excited to capture this one shot of an amazing display of lightning just over our home. The numerous and frustrating attempts resulting in only dark images were immediately forgotten and replaced with feelings of AWE! Just as the lightning outlined my house and neighborhood as if it were noon outside, these bright things have the ability to make things clearer, often times with more understanding. We may even be able to forget, if even for a moment, the trying times. It has the power to illuminate our lives and serve as a guide for our choices.

I am thrilled to have many bright things in my life to keep me on track. My faith and love for my Heavenly Father and His restored gospel on the earth and that I get to be a part of it, my beautiful children and family, and my passion for my career are just some of the things that illuminate my way, keeping me humbled, positive and happy.

In short, we need the dark 'images' to appreciate the wonderfully, bright things in our life. We need that awesome power of something bright to overtake all darkness, guide our decisions and priorities, and serve as a reservoir for our happiness.

Man, I love a good storm!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

House Divided?

My girls think I'm weird because I love football, especially college football. I had hoped that maybe one of them would join me in the excitement of watching a game but alas, I'm still waiting....sort of. My second oldest just started her first year of college this fall. She happens to be attending the rival college of my former University.

Tonight is the rival football game on ESPN. My Alma mater is losing presently. Surprisingly, I'm not feeling so bad about it. What's up with that I wonder? If my team were playing ANY other team right now - I would be climbing the walls in frustration.

It seems funny how having kids can change your priorities. What's important to them becomes most important to us. We don't have to agree on everything, but will often sacrifice our own desires in support of theirs. Life was never meant to be a competition of who wins or loses, or who gets the glory and who doesn't. Life is about achieving happiness.

So maybe my girls are right...I must be weird since only I seem to find spiritual insight from a rival football game! All I know is that I'm rooting for the team that directly affects my daughter's happiness, whether it be her school or mine. It's what I plan to do for the rest of her life. THAT'S what makes ME happy!

Yeah, I know it's only a football game BUT it can also be a great life lesson learned.
(btw, now my team is ahead. Perhaps I should start this post over? Nah!

Rah Rah Rah!

It's official...I AM getting older.

Have I mentioned that I've noticed these funny looking lines around the edges of my eyes when I squint? Crows feet some call it. Funny name. Mine resemble more of a map of the Grand Canyon in the height of summer.

I've even noticed some darker blotches of skin on my face. Sun damage to be sure. Just a whiff of Hawaiaan Tropic Oil bring all the memories back! - or was it baby oil??? Was SPF even invented way back then?

As I revealed in an earlier blog, I get sick now on anything with four wheels and some good fishtailin'. Roller coasters make my head spin. Heights...well, I never did heights.

I never broke a bone until this last year. Then I broke a bunch all at once. Now I can predict the weather to a 'T'. The smell of Bengay threatens to haunt my house soon. I'm sure of it.

And yes, my sight is going. As I type this, I rely solely on my smell checker and 22 font.

Despite all these symptoms of aging, I've denied nearly everyone of them. (Of course, that is a sure sign of aging right there). So what is it that can really convince me to face the truth?

My second daughter graduated high school yesterday.

The Early Bird Catches....??

I am NOT a morning person.

I really want to be. Honest. I envy all of you who can literally jump out of bed and get your day going with your super chipper mood. I even understand the sensibility of getting up early and getting so much more accomplished. But, alas, that still doesn't make me an early bird.

I am far from an idle person. Growing up, it was a luxury to sleep until 8:30 or 9:00am. That has still stuck with me. (and the sound of Dad's power saws in full chorus, in the basement beneath my bedroom). It's not that I don't like mornings. Infact, it's quite the opposite. I enjoy the mornings I can wake up on my own and think about my upcoming day. I love listening to the sounds of a just waking home and savoring in the comfort of my blessings.

It's ironic that my job requires me to get up very early and sometimes even in the middle of the night. When I HAVE to get up, it is always the hardest. Perhaps because it robs me of my contemplation time. Attitude is everything I suppose.

Maybe if I'd wake up earlier, I could still have my contemplation time. Go figure.

It's Been One of Those Days

Today was one of those days.

There are great and less than great days at work. I usually gauge the success of my day by my performance more than the outcome of a case. Working in an operating room can involve having some extreme outcomes, but these patients wouldn't be in my OR if they were well. If I gauged my day this way - it would always be somewhat sad. However, if I felt that I performed my job well, communicated with my peers well, and the surgeons felt I was dependable - now these are the best kind of days at work!

Then there are days like today. Nothing really bad happened. I was assigned to an unfamiliar room with a surgeon I don't normally work with. I really like familiarity and being in my own comfort zone. Switching from that zone can be pretty stressful. These moments make me second guess and reevaluate myself and my performance. But honestly, it's these very moments that I tend to learn the most, as grueling as they can be. I have always loved learning, so why would this be any different? Why do I tag it as 'one of those day's'?

It's my attitude I think. Weightlifters can't succeed if they keep lifting the same amount of weight everyday. They have to keep adding more weight to see results that eventually define them. It's all about leaving that comfort zone, knowing you'll only grow from it.

Hmmmm.... I will have to work on that some more.

"Some of life's greatest battles will be fought in the silent chambers of your own soul." ~Ezra Taft Benson

Life is Nothing but a Roller Coaster Ride

I used to love roller coasters. The thrill of high speeds and near weightlessness, the unknown curves, drastic drops and even the surprise of an unseen cave of pitch blackness, all were major enticements for me to come back and ride it again and again. I LOVED roller coasters, especially the end, where you feel that you overcame the challenge and relief ensues.

Now not so much.

Roller coasters now make my head spin and give me the urge to report to some kind of 'thrill ride' authority the battering my body was just subjected to. What has taken the thrill out of the ride? Is it my age? Normally, I'd say probably so. But now, I'm not so sure. These machines are only getting faster, higher, and more 'creative'. We have roller coasters that race each other, go to warp speeds, or that we can ride in backwards, forwards, sideways, upside-down, sitting, standing, and even lying on your stomach (think Superman). Pretty soon we will be riding 'Tarzan-style' by our hands or something. The thrill alone is never enough.

My life has been the proverbial roller coaster ride. The ups are filled with excitement and pleasure with wonderful, breathtaking views. The downs are stomach wrenching and fear laden. Most of us close our eyes in the sight of such fear and anxiety. Probably not a good thing to do unless we want to add vomit inducing to the list. At times, just when I am reveling in the relief of surviving one coaster, the next new and improved, butt-kicking version comes out and here I am, rising to the top only to try and conquer the 'bottom' again. It's these rises that seem the most important to me, allowing me time to prepare and get in a few deep breaths. The better prepared I am, the better I'll be able to handle those breakneck curves just ahead.

What I am finding out is that there are many roller coasters of life that we aren't forced to ride. We can actually choose to get on and off as we please. Agency can be a pretty cool thing. But, by choosing to get off are we denying ourself anything? ALL of my life's rides, the great and the terrible included, have been major teaching moments for me. These moments are priceless because they prepare me for the next ride and sometime warn me of others. Infact, the strength I've earned from conquering one ride is always just enough needed to get on the next ride. Funny how that works.

So maybe these roller coasters really aren't so bad.